Look, I get it. Maybe not the full concept of what went wrong or who’s at fault but I understand. Your feelings were hurt and clearly you took this to heart. My intentions weren’t to put you in this position nevertheless afflict a misunderstanding between the both of us but believe me when I say I do miss talking to you and being normal. 

Hashing things out today wasn’t exactly what I had in mind because I honestly believed we would’ve flourished from this and moved on with a temporary tendered awkwardness. But it wasn’t like that. The conversation was in every way, strained and tedious as I slowly felt my attitude rising up, like the bile in one’s throat. I was disgusted and nonetheless, unsatisfied with the amount of spit that we both mustered up. 

I just want you to know this: You let go, you said no, and ultimately made me lose confidence in you. Honestly if you think about the situation at hand, wouldn’t you have been upset? I was and by then it was clear that I had to move on and who I wanted in the end. My intentions weren’t wrong. Maybe a little unorthodox but so was making that initial decision to be distant and awkward when you didn’t want to have a relationship.  

For now, I’m not sure what tomorrow brings. I just want something sustainable for the both of us to grasp onto and everything to be laid out. That’s all I would want and that’s all I can ask for.

So it’s official, I’ve finally accepted my admission into CSULB. Though, who knew I’d had to pay so much for certain things..like orientation, summer classes (damn you ESM. 6 POINTS!) and etc. I can’t wait until it’s all over but then again there’s this frantic worry that washes over me. Am I prepared with all this information? How will life be like away from the city I’ve been in all my life? In a sense, I’m excited but just concerned with whether or not I’m suppose to do what I’m suppose to do. Hopefully by tomorrow, I’ll get all the answers I need when I call in.